It is fascinating to see how as human beings, we tend to have different reactions to similar things. In fashion, we perceive trends differently. For instance, many people hesitated to try ripped jeans when they were widely popular in the 2000s. However, many others made this garment a staple piece of their wardrobe. Many of them even ripped their own jeans to be trendy in a quick manner and without going to buy a new pair of jeans.
The same thing happens with feelings. We may understand the meaning of them, but still, they feel different for each of us. There will be people who will run away from their sadness, as they were never taught to embrace and accept this feeling. They may hide their sadness with work, TV shows, or substances before having an internal conversation about what is happening.
Then, some people accept the sadness and let themselves be dragged and drowned by it, like those who went for the whole color pop era with colored hair, colored jewelry, and colored everything. You let sadness take ownership of who you are, and in the process, you get into an endless cycle of regrets, negative thoughts, and dark memories.
The consistent problem in fashion and with feelings is that many of us believe we experience life similarly and, therefore, we are equals. But each of us carries a different story. Some people will cry intensely after losing their favorite scarf; others don’t cry but will acknowledge their sadness and express it through vulnerable conversations with others, which is a beautiful way to acknowledge your feelings and find support, at least by being heard.
And the scenarios are many because our background, fears, thoughts, and previous experiences shape the people we are now. But if there’s one general insight about sadness to be shared with you, it is that there is no irrelevant, childish or silly challenge. If there is a situation that affects you, it matters, regardless of people’s reactions, when you share the way you feel about something.
Political fashion is about learning about clothes and using them as a tool to express your authentic self. We talk about clothes based on social definitions and perceptions of what gender is, what sustainable fashion is and should be, and what relevant people in the world, from political leaders to celebrities, are doing to shape how we interpret fashion. So it makes sense to talk about fashion directly related to something as unique and deep as our feelings are, because clothes are a form of expression. There’s a reason why we feel attracted to specific colors and silhouettes when we go to the mall. We see a part of ourselves in those clothes, and if they fit, and we have the possibility of purchasing them, wearing these clothes gives us a positive push to feel at least a little bit more confident walking in the streets.
Today we’ll talk about fashion directly related to sadness. Not because we think that clothes can heal someone’s pain. We trust and rely on mental health professionals to guide people in that direction. But we believe that as humans, who rely on our emotions to make over 80% of our decisions, we use clothes as a mirror of our souls. And it’s intriguing how we can use clothes to give us a little push to get out of an episode of unhappiness.
The type of clothes you wear
Shows and movies have given us a clear idea of what a post-breakup outfit should look like. A girl without makeup, a messy hair bun, an oversized t-shirt, and a feeling of emptiness in the stomach that makes her cry as if the number of tears could represent the love they’ve ended. Many people tend to replicate these behaviors because in the movie or show, more often than not, the couple goes back together, so it’s almost like a ritual to let yourself be drowned by the sadness in order to prove you love this person and somehow the couple goes back together eventually. It’s almost like if you have to suffer in order to win the person back.
In the process of replicating this behavior, sadness intensifies. Because when you don’t like the way you look, another factor contributes to you feeling down, which is how clothing and emotions are strongly related. You are not going to heal your pain with a nice dress, but it will give you a positive stimulation that empowers you to at least feel a little bit better. Have you noticed how when you get ready for a wedding, or important social event, you take the time and effort to do your hair and makeup and make sure all the clothes are on point? Getting out of the house with this glamour makes you feel happy, even though you are the same person who was wearing pajamas in the early morning. That is the magic that clothing can bring into your life and influence your emotions.
Cry as much as you need to, scream as much as you have to, and play the heartbreaking song that narrates the pain you are going through and makes you feel understood by this artist. And after that, make sure that you choose the clothes that you like. It doesn’t matter if you’re going to work, visiting a friend, or doing grocery shopping. For these matters, you are not dressing up for someone else. You are dressing up to feel better about yourself. As stated earlier, clothes can become a mirror of your soul, so choosing the clothes that you like with the textures, colors, and shapes that make you happy can be reflected in your soul and make you feel at least a little bit less unhappy.
“I used to paint such vibrant dreams; now I’m colorblind.” Colorblind, Claude Kelli, Emeli Sande and Steve Mac.
The relationship between colors and emotions is the main topic of several books, articles, and magazines. After all, we are able to distinguish 10 million colors, and they are all around us. So when we talk about sadness and fashion, it is important to question what colors make us feel good about ourselves. It may be an olive green that is elegant, versatile and looks spectacular in so many different skin tones. For many, red is the color of confidence as you will stand out in the crowd and you will be seen. This is particularly helpful for those who find comfort in receiving attention and compliments.
As a general trend, there are colors that tend not to spark joy in people. Muted tones like greys, beiges, blacks, and browns are not necessarily colors that will make you sad, but they are not colors that will bring the positive energy you are looking for if you want to feel better. It’s also a good idea to go back and see pictures of days when you felt particularly happy and look at the clothes you are wearing. It is inspiring how we are able to create memories with our clothes, and bringing a special piece of clothing in a moment of despair can be an item of hope. Colors with a high chroma like emerald green, royal blue, hot pink, or purple give people a lot of energy and tend to wake us up and leave us with a positive attitude. You can also consider prints with natural motifs like florals, leaves, fruits, and animals, which can also be a positive stimulator.
The Outline of Who You Are
There are a million reasons to feel sadness. But it’s safe to say that a huge amount of them are related to some kind of insecurity. Not feeling good enough. Not feeling attractive enough. Not feeling smart enough. Or simply not feeling enough. In such a competitive world with lots of social expectations at a very young age, it’s very common for many people to feel this way.
In the movies, the main characters appear in most of the scenes. The characters and the whole plot are all related to them, and more often than not, these main characters are those who we remember the most.
Insecurities may feel as if we were part of a movie where someone else is the main character, and our story doesn’t matter. Where you are Eponine from Les Mis, seeing your Marcus go away with Cosette, and nobody cares about your pain, emptiness, and loneliness.
As Eponine walked under the rain on a dark night with her heart broken, many people hide behind layers or clothes when they are experiencing a similar emotion. This is why it’s highly recommended to stay away from oversized clothes as the main clothing choice for the majority of the days. Baggy clothes can be fashionable and super comfortable, and easy to wear. However, when this becomes your main fashion direction, it can be a visual representation of you trying to hide from the people around you. If you add the bagginess of the clothes with muted colors, which we covered previously, the negative stimulations add up.
The Cherry on Top
Only through suffering do you have change and self-improvement. Naval Ravikant.
Many of us have a special accessory that we save for a specific occasion. Maybe it is a very charming bracelet, but you don’t want to wear it “just to go to work .”It could be a handbag you value so much that you don’t want to wear it on an “average day .”But time is limited. Time goes by, people come and go, And you are the only person who may know how happy this accessory makes you because there is a whole story and meaning behind it. So leverage that internal conversation with who you are and what you like, and let yourself enjoy those special smiles that fashion can give you.
Sometimes letting go is an act of far greater power than hanging on. Eckhart Tolle.
For many of us, being who we are in a fully free and authentic way is challenging. You run into social expectations of your gender, your race, your age, and your sexual orientation. People point out how you should be and who you should relate to based on their expectations, and maybe in a subconscious way, we start to believe it and follow their orders. Finding a sense of belonging can be truly rewarding when we have truly found it. But it is unfair to betray who we are in order to fit in the mold of what we “should be ”People can be mean. Words can create permanent damage. And it’s all about recognizing when it’s time to leave a situation, a person, or a place, in order to find new people, situations, and places that will accept you for who you are.
The way we let go of jeans that don’t fit anymore and make us feel bad about our shape, we should let go of thoughts, inherited ideas, people, situations, and places, that are making us feel bad about who we are.
People walk in the streets carrying their Kate Spade bags with their wallets, phone, and planner. But still, we don’t get to see the bag of emotions, unfinished business, and stories they have been carrying with them for a while. We are complex emotional beings with many layers. Sometimes it’s worth looking at our own bag and seeing what we should get rid of to feel at least slightly better, whether that is an old ripped wallet or a painful memory that is not letting us move on.